Alpha tried to kill me

Family went for a walk in the wash today.  I am exhausted.  Babypotamus is climbing all over me but I am too pantingly tired to move away from her.  Damn I am out of shape.  

New dog

My Friend Pepper is staying with us now.  Don't know for how long, but am hoping that she will not want my food.  Other than that, we shall play and frolic and chase squirrels out of the garden.

Buffalo treat

I did not like the buffalo treat.  Alpha female says it is gross and won't let me have it in the house.  If it stays outside it gets covered in ants.  Alpha male threw it out.

Strange treat

Alpha brought home this thing as a treat for me.  I wasn't sure what to do with it.  It smelled funny and was frozen.

Hot

Hot out.  Sleep inside all day.  Only go out in the evening.  Too hot.

Whine and pout

Alpha has abandon me with grand parents. Good treats, but miss my yard and alpha's.

Staying with Grandparents

Alpha and females headed out of town.  I am staying with the guys that give me treats and bones. Aaah the good life.

Now it is time for a nap.

Conversation with God

Dear God: I've been thinking a lot about things these days and I have some questions for you. I hope you take some time to answer me, as I've been wearing my worried face more often than usual.

First, is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? 

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? 

When we get to heaven, can we sleep on your bed? Or is it still the same old story? 

Maybe you know why there are cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? 

If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a Dog? 

We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? 

Let me clean the dishes, before you eat dinner, please. 

Are there small blonde headed people in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? 

I know this seems like a laundry list of questions, but it kind of matches all the rules I know I must follow to be a good dog. For instance, I know that

1. I should not eat the baby's' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 
2. I should not roll on dead things, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 
3. The bread Box is not a cookie jar. 
4. The pants my owners are wearing are not a 'face towel'. 
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff and comes to early for me to care. 
6. I should not play tug-of-war unless authorized to do so by the alpha male. 
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. Depending on whether the person is "hot" or not. I am not sure what that means.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up and bark when the door bell rings. 
9. I must puke up the grass I have been eating before entering the house - not after. 
10. I should not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt. 
11. I should not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. 
12. The baby and bird are not 'squeaky toys' so when I play with them and they makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. 

I've been trying really hard to follow all these rules and be a good dog. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back? 

Activity

Been going to the park in the evenings.  Ground has deep gravel that I don't like to walk on.  Feels squishy.

I prefer to sleep on the floor next to the Alpha's, but they keep taking me and the new thing in the weird contraption out.

Alpha bitches morning ritual

I usually try and sleep through this.

Getting hot

Walks during the day are not as much fun.

What makes me whimper and whine

When I know Alpha is smarter than me, but they do things that are not right for survival.  I don't understand it.  Alpha protects me but is unable to protect himself.  I know he knows better, because he keeps me from doing the same thing that is killing him.

Why??  

Please stop...

Think like me for a moment.  Must live.  Must Eat. Must be happy and must make others happy.  That is it.  Right?  I am nuetered so prolificating is not in the equasion.

Todays Agenda

Sleep.

Go for walk with alpha's.

Sleep.

Eat.

Sleep.

Leg

It is Saturday morning and I forced Alpha Male out of bed early.  Took his spot.  He did not seem to mind.  My leg has been hurting.  I am gimpy when not out on walks or running.  Can't seem to explain why to Alpha's.  But they are taking care of me and the new thing.

This new thing is troublesome in some respects.  I don't mind it much, but I have noted that my needs are now secondary to the new thing.  And now I have to ride in the very back of the car instead of in the back seat because the new thing rides there in a contraption that I am more than a little wary of.  Here are pictures of the new thing and the contraption.

I want a snack.  Or maybe I'll just sty in Alpha's bed.

Lux Interior

Died today.  He made my tail wag.  Oh well, where is something to eat?  Alpha Male!!!!

Clean Doggie

Got bath today.  Alpha Female cleaned my teeth.  Now I am not greasy and smelly and my breath no longer smells like cat poop.  My favorite treat when out for walks.

Alpha male picked me up and put me in tub.  Not easy to do considering I weigh over 100lbs and he has been diagnosed with something called Cervical Neural Foraminal Narrowing.  Not sure what it means but it can't be good.

Ruff

The kids are out in the street playing.  I must warn the alpha male and the alfa female.