New Years Resolutions

15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 
14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under Alpha's feet. 
12. My head does not belong in the baby's high chair.
11. I will no longer be beholden to any sound occurring outside the yard.
10. I will not walk in on Alpha when he is peeing.
9. Come to understand that squirrels are a natural enemy and should be driven from the yard at all costs.
8. Take time from busy napping schedule and chase squirrels from the yard.
7. I must shake the gravel and grass from my body BEFORE entering the house.
6. Get a bite in on that damn squirrel stealing my carrots from the garden.
5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much. 
4. I will not play tug-o'-war with baby over a cheerio. 
3. The baby's high chair is not a cookie jar.
2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. 
1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND