Sunday, May 24, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Staying with Grandparents
Alpha and females headed out of town. I am staying with the guys that give me treats and bones. Aaah the good life.
Now it is time for a nap.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Conversation with God
Dear God: I've been thinking a lot about things these days and I have some questions for you. I hope you take some time to answer me, as I've been wearing my worried face more often than usual.
First, is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
When we get to heaven, can we sleep on your bed? Or is it still the same old story?
Maybe you know why there are cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a Dog?
We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Let me clean the dishes, before you eat dinner, please.
Are there small blonde headed people in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
I know this seems like a laundry list of questions, but it kind of matches all the rules I know I must follow to be a good dog. For instance, I know that
1. I should not eat the baby's' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I should not roll on dead things, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The bread Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The pants my owners are wearing are not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff and comes to early for me to care.
6. I should not play tug-of-war unless authorized to do so by the alpha male.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. Depending on whether the person is "hot" or not. I am not sure what that means.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up and bark when the door bell rings.
9. I must puke up the grass I have been eating before entering the house - not after.
10. I should not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I should not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The baby and bird are not 'squeaky toys' so when I play with them and they makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
I've been trying really hard to follow all these rules and be a good dog. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
First, is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
When we get to heaven, can we sleep on your bed? Or is it still the same old story?
Maybe you know why there are cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a Dog?
We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Let me clean the dishes, before you eat dinner, please.
Are there small blonde headed people in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
I know this seems like a laundry list of questions, but it kind of matches all the rules I know I must follow to be a good dog. For instance, I know that
1. I should not eat the baby's' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I should not roll on dead things, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The bread Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The pants my owners are wearing are not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff and comes to early for me to care.
6. I should not play tug-of-war unless authorized to do so by the alpha male.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. Depending on whether the person is "hot" or not. I am not sure what that means.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up and bark when the door bell rings.
9. I must puke up the grass I have been eating before entering the house - not after.
10. I should not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I should not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The baby and bird are not 'squeaky toys' so when I play with them and they makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
I've been trying really hard to follow all these rules and be a good dog. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
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